why I didn’t make a #metoo post

CONTENT WARNING – Sexual assault

I’m sorry. I love you. He’s sorry. He gets like that.

He feels really bad for putting you in that situation

I’ve talked to him about it

He keeps like, sobbing on my bed

That’s a really strong word

You can’t take it back.

Maybe don’t use that word

If he’d done something like, really wrong, I’d leave him

But you know, it wasn’t like that bad

Try to forgive him.  He’s sorry

He wants to apologize

I’ll keep him away from you

But you should talk to him

I want to understand

Did you tell him no?

I know you have trouble saying no to people

Were you drunk? Were you high?

You shouldn’t have gotten into the car with him

If that’s not what you wanted

You got a motel room with him?

Well of course that’s what he thought was going to happen

This is why we got you pepper spray

It doesn’t matter how well you know him

Doesn’t matter how nice he is.

Doesn’t matter how he talks to you.

Boys only have one thing on their mind

I taught you that

I can’t believe I failed you like this

No, don’t go to the cops

They’ll ruin his life

No, don’t go to the cops

They won’t believe you

No, don’t go to the cops

All cops are bastards, anyway.

No, don’t go to the cops

They’ll laugh

And drag you through the mud

Tell everyone to cool down about it.

It’s not fair to him

Why are you still so angry?

He said he’s sorry he’s sorry he’s


Emerson Gray, a disabled genderqueer creator living in Saint Louis, Missouri, has been previously published in the Eunoia Review and Neon Mariposa Magazine. His piece “Life of an Ophelian Girl”, as seen in Crabfat Magazine, was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. He can be contacted on Twitter @Emerson_Gray_

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