Blatant Plagiarism

Blatant Plagiarism

Kristine Wagner

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.

There was a little girl who had a little curl.

“Impossible!” She said.

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

He responded.

“But what about second breakfast?”

“I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam-I-Am.”

She took a bit and winced. “Alas, earwax.”

“Curiouser and Curiouser. All’s well that ends well.”

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

It’s not much of a tail, but I’m kind of attached to it.”

“If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furniture

let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies.”

“To be or not to be.”

“Elementary, my dear Watson. You should be kissed and often,

and by someone who knows how.”

“You are the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.”

“Just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have.”

“You killed my father, prepare to die!”

“All happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

God bless us, everyone.”

“I misjudged you, you’re not a moron, you’re only a case of arrested development.”

“Tomorrow is another day!”

It was a dark and stormy night sometime later when

She realized she was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night could stay her swift flight to him.

“You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes,” She said to herself,

“But a horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse!”

He appeared with one obligingly.

“I can’t carry it, but I can carry you.”

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

“It is a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done;

it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”

“Yes, Isn’t it pretty to think so?”

But the sky was bright, and he somehow felt he was headed in the right direction.


 I in no way wish to take the credit for quotes from Winnie the Pooh, Gone with the Wind, Dr. Seuss, Ernest Hemingway, Stuart Little, J.R.R. Tolkien, Shakespeare, Edward Bulwer-Lytton, The U.S. Postal Service, Charles Dickens, Tolstoy, The Princess Bride, J.K. Rowling, Jane Austen, folk proverbs, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Lewis Carrol, 1984, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, and especially not Twilight.
Please don’t expel me. 

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