Arrow Rock Literary Journal

At twenty-one

I look behind me at the landfill of memories that I will have,

have,

had,

won’t have again.

At twelve

-ish

life and I had an e s t r a n g e d relationship

I did not think I would make it past seventh. Sixth?

I am twenty-one.

I did not think I would make it past eighth. I am twenty one,

and the sky looked beautiful this morning.

I did not think I would make it past ninth.

The clouds that carried last night’s storm away from Saint Charles

peel up the gray skirt to reveal the sun’s Daffodil field hidden beneath.

I did not think I would make it past tenth.

My professor smiles like sunshine

and gives me a story to bring home to my mother,

wrapped in brown paper

tied with a red ribbon.

I did not think I would make it past eleventh.

I send in my graduation application.

I did not think I would make it past twelfth.

I get an email back from the staff congratulating me, “Almost there” from my advisor.

I did not think I would make it past thirteenth. I am twenty-one.

I did not think I would make it past fourteenth. I am twenty-one,

and the sky still looks beautiful this afternoon.

I did not think I would make it past fifteenth.

The sky is gray and white,

and still,

she is beautiful.

I am making it past sixteenth.

I am twenty-one,

and the sky will still look beautiful tonight.

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Madeline Cronin is a writer from O’Fallon, Missouri. Recently having finished a degree in English with an emphasis in Creative Writing, she is now looking at the big wide world, blankly staring as to what she will do next… without school filling up her time. She wouldn’t be here without the wonderful people in her life that she loves so dearly, and her dog, Nola. You can find more of her work in Currents Magazine, Just a Cuppa, as well as Gabby & Min Publications.